In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a handsome young fellow who rejected the attentions of Echo. He preferred looking at his own reflection in a pond. He admired himself so long and so intensely that he took root and became a beautiful flower, the narcissus. He was stuck, unable to move and unable to form a relationship with anyone but himself.
I am reminded of the time in San Diego I was waiting in a poplular restaurant to meet our daughter for lunch. As I waited, I watched the young professionals in their expensive shoes and clothes as they waited for tables. After a short time, I noticed that most were posing as they waited. When Christi arrived, I said "I'm so glad you married Jim and not one of these guys."
"Why? What's wrong with these guys?"
"i'm glad because these guys are so in love with themselves, they couldn't possibly love you." She looked, assessed, and agreed.
So what words describe a Narcissist? Vain, egocentric, selfish, arrogant, conceited, shameless, haughty body language, pretended self-importance, feel entitiled, use/exploit others, lack compassion or empathy, braggarts, hyper-sensitve to perceived insult---not qualitites that would make a good candidate for a relationship!
A recent news item reported that 25 percent of today's college freshman are narcissists!
While that does not surprise me, it does make me sad and concerned about the future. Narcissists do not care about others. They are Number 1. These are not people who "serve their community, their country, their kin." These are the people who expect to be served by the invisible people. They feel entitied to 'The Best' service, clothes, food, cars, etc. They judge themselves and others by brand names, price tags, appearance.
They would never do the hard and sometimes messy work of taking care of children or the elderly. They will not dirty their manicured nails building or repairing infrastructure. They will not seek employment as cooks or servers. They will not work behind the scenes to make life safe and comfortable for others. And many, many are choosing not have children as children can be messy, expensive, inconvenient, and demanding. Pregancy can change their slim shapes. Horrors. What if the baby gets all the attention?
There was a time when Pride was one of the Seven Deadly Sins, Humility was a Virtue, and modesty was admired. But that is another study in human behavior for another day.