Tracy Dittmer has been a mother without any support system, and she has been a mother with a strong support system.

“I’ve been down both roads, and having a support system is better,” Tracy laughed. “Much better.”

When Tracy’s first two children were born, her husband was in the United States Air Force. The first son, Jonathan, was born in Denver, Colo., and the second son, Jason, was born in Germany.

“When you are far from home, you are just on your own,” Tracy said. “You have it all to do.”

But after Tracy and Tim left the Air Force, they eventually ended up in Neosho near her parents. At that time, only the two boys were in the family so things were not too hectic. But that began to change.

“We learned we couldn’t have any more children after the two boys were born,” Tracy said, “so we kinda had it in our heads that we would adopt.”

Finally that opportunity came along when they adopted a little girl, Hailey. Because their daughter had Cerebral Palsy, it wasn’t long before Tracy’s parents, Donna and Ken Kendall, stepped up to help.

Things again were going pretty well, but change reared its head again two years later

“The adoption people came to us and said they needed someone to take three siblings. If we didn’t take them, the children would be separated,” Tracy recalled.

That’s when Tim spoke up.

Having been adopted in his childhood, he had the misfortune of being separated from his siblings.

“Tim just said that wasn’t going to happen to those three kids,” Tracy said.

So the family grew again, adding Alexa, Logan and Miranda. And with the oldest daughter, Hailey, needing treatment in St. Louis, Donna and Ken stepped up and helped take care of the younger kids. This allowed Tracy and Tim to spend many days in St. Louis where Hailey eventually had surgery.

Now the two oldest boys are gone from home and, in fact, one is married and has made Tracy a grandmother. But the four youngest are still at home, living with parents who own businesses and have jobs.

“There is always someone going somewhere,” Tracy said. “We are involved in dance, band, piano, youth cheerleading, Scouting, and church activities. And many times there are three kids needing to be somewhere different—all at the same time.”

“Transportation is my biggest job,” noted Donna, who lives 15 or 20 minutes away from her daughter and family. “I pick up kids and deliver kids or meet kids at the bus. I do whatever is needed. I just get inserted.”

Reflecting on the support she gets from her mother and father, Tracy said, “We could not do all this without them. When we talked about taking the three children, we had a family meeting and they agreed to be part of the family. We knew we couldn’t do it by ourselves.”

With both parents and four children going in a dozen directions each day, keeping a schedule is important.

“I have this big family calendar and everyone knows they must put down where and when they need to go somewhere,” Tracy explained. “They know if it isn’t written down, there’s no guarantee they will get to go.”

Keeping that schedule straight is one of the important things Donna does for her daughter’s family.

“Actually, the kids are pretty good at marking the calendar,” Donna explained. “They know they have to. That’s how it all works.”

This extended family carries their relationship into most every facet of their lives. All attend church together.

“It’s become something of a joke at church,” Tracy said. “Our family is now so big we can’t all fit into one pew any more. At the Christmas service, we took a row and a half.”

Even though helping Tracy and her family cuts into Donna’s life, she still finds time to be involved in the community. She is a member of the Newcomers Club and is a Red Hatter. But, helping with the kids is important to Donna, “We knew from the start we would be involved when they decided to take the three kids. I’m glad they didn’t have to be separated. We are fortunate to have those kids.”

And Tracy is fortunate to have her mother’s support. She’s had it both ways, and having mom around is the best way to go.