I’ve often joked that I got my current job because I could translate “engineereeze.”

I’m nowhere near smart enough to actually read or write anything close to what an engineer could. 

Fortunately, I understand the way engineers think, act and behave. Usually I make a pretty good stab at the message and can relay that back out to the general public.

 This past year I’ve discovered I understand “beagleeze” as well. 

Most days Fez, the wonder puppy, and I are pretty comfortable with just each other’s company.

We have a daily routine. I’m up at 4:30 a.m. He’s up at 5 a.m. He gets a scratch under the chin, lots of praise for his downward dog stretch and a plate full of something dry and horrible smelling, yet completely expensive, gourmet dog food. 

Each night he and I are the first to go to bed. I’ve got a beagle who everyday is thrilled to see me. It doesn’t take a genius to recognize the tail wagging, the yelping, and the jumping up and down. I have no idea why we waited so long to get a dog.

 Last week, we had message boards around town announcing the temporary closure of a couple of roads. We’ve been blessed here in Neosho over the last couple of weeks with the long needed repair to a few of our railroad crossings. When the railroads do this sort of work, it is necessary to temporarily close the road so they can make quick and major repairs to that particular section. Unquestionably, the messages on our boards were pretty broad and gave the initial impression that we were cutting off a good portion of town from the other half. 

Not since the last ice storm has my cell phone rang so much, in so short a time.

 The funny thing was how quickly the girls learned in my office that I can’t give directions – in Neosho – using proper highway designations.

I have to speak in “Neoshoeeze” when getting folks from one spot to the next.

 The calls went something like this…

 “Lori. Hi, this is (insert your name here).  Why are you closing 60?”

 Me, “We’re not closing all of BU 60, just at the railroad crossing. The railroad is fixing the crossing.”

 You, “Oh. Great! What’s BU?

 Me, “That’s our way of saying “business” as in “business highway 60.”

 You, “Oh. That makes sense. Where’s Business 60.”

 Me, “That’s over where the old Neosho Nursery used to be….where the old hamburger place was – remember being able to buy a bag of hamburgers for just a dollar?”

 At this point the engineers are giggling from behind their cubicle walls. That’s OK.  My office handles customer service and community relations. Trust me. There’s nothing more customer friendly and community minded than being able to give directions in the language of Neosho.


Lori Marble is a Neosho resident, and writes a weekly column for the Today’s Woman page.