I had planned to steer clear of my regular topics this week in an effort to branch out into different areas of patent juvenility. But then, some guy in South Korea had to go and screw things up by making a house shaped like a giant toilet.

I had planned to steer clear of my regular topics this week in an effort to branch out into different areas of patent juvenility. But then, some guy in South Korea had to go and screw things up by making a house shaped like a giant toilet.

The man in question is named Sim Jae-Duck, but he has been called Mr. Toilet, and even Mayor Toilet when he headed the government of the city of Suwon, site of his 24-foot porcelain palace.

Sim Jae-Duck got that name by championing the notion of spruced-up public toilets as a way to increase South Korea's image. Some news organizations have even reported he claims to have been born in a bathroom. I wonder what he'd be doing with his time if he'd been born in a Winnebago.

Mr. Toilet's house even has a name, Haewoojae, which translates as "place to solve one's worries." (Ain't that the truth?)

According to a Yahoo! News write-up, the toilet within the toilet (M.C. Escher fans would probably like this place) is enclosed in glass that turns opaque when the king is on his throne, and its lid lifts automatically – so I guess Mrs. Toilet can't blame her husband for leaving the seat up.

Another feature is a motion sensor sets off speakers that fill the bathroom with classical music. Unfortunately, the stories don't go into detail on what classical compositions are on the toilet playlist. "Water Music?" "Fur Elise?" "A Night on Disco Mountain?"

According to The Korea Times, the house will be added to the Guinness Book of World Records for being the first and largest toilet-shaped building in Korea, "another symbol which marks Korea's advanced toilet culture."

Another benefit of the toilet house: It puts the city of Suwon at the top of the list as a filming location for any future remakes of "Attack of the 50-foot woman." Though if they did "Attack of the 50-foot Man" instead they wouldn't have to worry about the cost of adding giant ornamental soap, giant towels that are for decoration only and a giant bathroom fan to provide masking background noise.

The end-date for construction of the house was set to correspond with the launch of a global movement (ha!) to improve bathroom sanitation and promote good health by the World Toilet Association, which was spawned by the Korea Toilet Association, which was an offshoot of the Citizen's Coalition for Restroom Culture in Korea, which was in "My Dog Skip" with Kevin Bacon.

As The Korea Times also reports, the WTA launch is pegged to the United Nations proclamation that 2008 be the International Year of Sanitation, likely a direct result of 2007 being the International Year of Forgetting to Clean Out the Refrigerator.

To give some spending power to this transnational toilet collective, Mr. Toilet is taking bids to see who is willing to give $500,000 to christen the giant toilet. By staying the night there, I mean.

There has not been word of any plans to accompany the toilet house with a 25-foot bidet.

E-mail Noah Blundo at noah.blundo@timesreporter.com.