I recall an old ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ edition that included a statement from Calvin that implied that life would be more exciting if it was always accompanied with a score. A score would flush-out this self-isolation imposed by the coronavirus outbreak.

In the Richardson house, the goodwife and I selected an appropriate score that seems to fit this specific occasion! Travel back to around 1970, plus or minus, and listen to the one hit wonder by Stealers Wheel. Appropriately titled “Stuck in the Middle With You”, it calls out a lot of the culture that surrounds us now; “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.” Not that I want to label anyone or call names, but who is it that keeps buying all this toilet paper? I remember when Buddy Hunt cornered the silver market in the late ‘70’s. driving silver to $60 per ounce. That created a windfall for some people. But toilet paper? In a few short months we will probably see people trying to free shelf space by selling off their supply. Surely at a loss, not a premium.

This philosophical song asks questions like: “I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs?” or “I’m wondering what it is I should do?” Seems complicated but if you really want a conundrum, consider this: What does the goodwife really want? I’ve been telling her for years that I will get to specific tasks, does she really think that this is the appropriate time? Is she doubting my commitment to the project? Personally, I would like to get that answered before we go onto other subjects!

I’m starting to see some problems with our choice. It may be too deep and contemplative. All of this free, quiet time brings up thoughts and considerations that might better be left alone. Self-isolating seems to be the equivalent of a pilgrimage to the mountain top in search of answers to life’s most perplexing questions. Meditative moments abound! This may be a good time to bring out that million-piece puzzle that I abandoned years ago. But I digress!

I was headed toward a specific point and got off on a rabbit trail about some long-forgotten puzzle. However, now that I brought it up, I do think I will see if I can find it. Anyway, our score, or theme song as you will, is not very long. It is only three minutes and twenty-six seconds and somewhat repetitive. In order to make it a scene-filling score, one has to put it on repeat mode. Don’t try this without someone there to pull you out of the dimensional vortex that develops, because when that song goes on repeat, there is only so much one can take! It was a better song back in the day!

Author’s note: The goodwife always proofreads these articles. Mainly to make sure that I haven’t told some forbidden story. Her comments today were, “Well, that’s different.” Followed by a look that implied I am crazier than a pet coon. Well, go figure.

-Paul Richardson is the proprietor of In Sane Marketing Solutions. He writes a weekly column, The Horse I Rode In On, for The Aurora Advertiser and The Neosho Daily News.