Just got back from one of my trips to MD Anderson and once again was reminded of one of the reasons why I love living in a small town. Going down is usually pretty good with regards to traffic because we are going on a weekend but coming back is another story.

Just got back from one of my trips to MD Anderson and once again was reminded of one of the reasons why I love living in a small town.  Going down is usually pretty good with regards to traffic because we are going on a weekend but coming back is another story.
We have learned to get an early appointment with the doctor on Wednesday so we can get out of Houston before the afternoon rush.  But, unfortunately that means hitting Dallas at the peak after work commute.  And there are no good alternatives to getting from Houston to Neosho without going through the heart of that traffic snarl.
Yesterday it was about 15 solid miles of creeping along until finally it was like Moses had parted the waters and our speed went from zero to 80 (literally).  It’s interesting how one little choke point or one person slowing down at the wrong time can have such a big impact.
I guess that is kind of like life – how one person or one event can impact a lot of people.  And that impact can be either good or bad as we see played out every day.  In this world there are a whole lot of ugly stories and a whole lot of good feel stories.  Sometimes it is just in your attitude as you write your own story for other people to experience.
A few weeks back I happened to run across another marathon showing of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  I guess it is an easy way to fill up over half a day of programming by showing just 3 movies.  Because the movies are so long and are on so much, I just see bits and pieces of them and sometimes they run together so I don’t know which one I’m watching at the time.
I told my doctor yesterday that I don’t believe in coincidences so I think it was meant for me to see a particular part of one of the movies because a line in it has really hit me hard.
The lead character says, “I wish it need not have happened in my time.”  To which another character says “So do I, and so do all who live to see such times.  But that is not for them to decide.  All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
If reading this once doesn’t sink in then read it over and over again until it does.  It means that we don’t always get to choose our circumstances but we can always choose our reaction to them.
This week I got news that I really didn’t want and definitely would not have chosen.  Apparently the shots I am taking for my cancer aren’t working as it is active again.  Not what you want to hear from your doctor.
But, I’m not on death’s door and the doctor said that it wasn’t time to panic.  But it still has an impact on your psyche.  He is going to up the dosage on my shots and then scan again in 3-4 months.  If that doesn’t work then there are other alternatives to attack my particular rare cancer.  
Needless to say, at least part of the drive home was made in a lot of silence as I tried to make sense of this latest chapter in my journey.  And, I won’t say that I am 100 percent there even as I write this column.  
What I do know is that my cancer is slow growing and there are still several options available to attack it.  I know that I have a great support team and a whole host of prayer warriors willing to lift me up.  I also know that ultimately I am not in control of this or anything else in my life.  The control belongs to God alone.
I asked a friend of mine to say an extra prayer before I went to Houston and he said he prayed for me every day but that his prayer wouldn’t change God’s plan.  To which I said that I wanted him to pray that I could accept that plan – whatever it is.
Which brings me back to the movie quote.  We don’t always choose our circumstances but we choose how we react to those circumstances.  I don’t know where God is leading me on this journey but I know that I can either follow him or fight him.  The ultimate outcome is going to be the same but the way He uses me will be different.
We can choose to be defeated or victorious in all circumstances. It all depends on our attitude.     


Former State Rep. Kevin Wilson writes a weekly column for the Daily News.