As I strolled through the airport on my way home from a trip, I happened to notice an older lady sitting on one of the airport chairs with a Chihuahua in her lap. The Chihuahua was your regular, everyday, run-of-the-mill Chihuahua, but with one exception: It was wearing a dress.

As I strolled through the airport on my way home from a trip, I happened to notice an older lady sitting on one of the airport chairs with a Chihuahua in her lap. The Chihuahua was your regular, everyday, run-of-the-mill Chihuahua, but with one exception: It was wearing a dress.


It was a pink dress with an abundance of green polka dots. It was a lovely dress and a nice pattern, if you like pink and green clothing, and probably would look really nice on a person.


On a Chihuahua, not so much.


Although the owner looked pretty pleased, the dog looked downright miserable. If a dog can grimace, I think this one was.


I wasn’t sure if the owner was just doing a dry run for Halloween or if she routinely liked to dress Fifi in couture, but either way, the net result was the same:


a) Fifi was not digging the outfit.


b) Pink was most certainly not her color.


Now this dressing-your-dog-up is serious business. As a dog owner, I’m not in favor of canine Uggs, or doggie raingear, but I know there are a lot of other people who are. The clothing runs the gamut from doggie booties and bonnets to canine swimwear and ski pants. There are also some pricey accessories, including crystal-studded collars and gold-plated ID tags for all the designer-loving dogs out there who like a little bling with their dog biscuits.


Even if I were inclined to dress up my dog, these days I can’t pick out acceptable clothing for my teenage children, so heaven knows, I’m probably not qualified to style my dog. Of course, he does have to wear one of those plastic cone things around his head from time to time when he gets into the thorn bushes and gets scratched up. 


However, we don’t really count that as a fashion accessory so much as a medical aid, even if he does look cute with a lampshade around his head. I know it drives him crazy, but we like it when he has to wear one because we get better reception on our satellite TV.


I am guilty of dressing up my dog for Halloween, and I’m sure he hates me for it. The only thing worse than a dog in a pink and green dress is a dog dressed up as SpongeBob SquarePants or Harry Potter. I dressed my dog up as a fireman and blame my momentary lapse in judgment on all the sugar from the Halloween candy I ate.


Still that was one day, one year, so hopefully he has forgiven me.


As for all the other dogs who are at the mercy of their canine couture-loving owners, what can I say?


Life is ruff.


Tracy Beckerman writes the syndicated humor column Lost in Suburbia. Visit her blog at www.lostinsuburbia.net.